I remain motionless sitting in my car, gazing up at your window. Maybe by any miraculous chance the curtains slide and i catch your glimpse, then would come a gesture implying you’ll be beside me any moment now. That moment doesn’t arrive and it may never, it seems. I wander around at all those places that still carry your fragrance, hoping that they would calm me down and will carry an affinity, for I need it desperately. Without you they loath me, they look at me from spite as if I’ve been a foe to myself. I wonder on being subjugated at this derision from those, whom I looked for mercy in this peril, and I cry out, consecrated to my penance if I’ve committed something irreparable, “Why? What ghastly formidable sin you lay upon me?” They didn’t retort as to my wistful and shrivelled voice. I stand there still waiting to receive the titanic contempt from my abhorrers. Still no harangue on the ignorance with which I’ve acted lately, and in return suffer this much.
“Haven’t I been,” heart aching with unbearable pain as I squalled, “in complete harmony with her feelings? Reciprocating, when and where I was capable of, the affection which I truly felt, unlike that which comes with deference to her beautiful soul, for I agree that respect was the first that enthralled me to long for her. Although I bestow her with the honour of accepting me as I am, but wasn’t it me that came forward unsheathed and openly declaring my unspoken faults? Didn’t I seep through the conversations and led her into my conscience, however impracticable it may seem, but as it is the truth remains that I vowed and upheld the edifice of my thoughts to her? How then you bestow such atrocity on me?” Silence remained impervious as to no answer came. I abandoned all hope, turned my back and was about to slip again into the monstrous despair that has befallen onto me, when suddenly it dawned from somewhere inside of my heart that, “What you say is God’s honest truth, and yet you revoked the fervour with which you could’ve loved her!”
Mortified I fell on my knees then, I crawled to every place where you illuminated my life with your passionate presence, and then it happened that “I became love for you, and I shall remain so till eternity!”
Mortified!
