One may wonder, even if it is for one brief moment, ‘what is it that I am supposed to do, and that what I’m doing, is it supposed to be? And even if what I do is a forlorn attempt to escape this question, isn’t it that this is what I was supposed to do?’ This is when one stumbles over two paths; ‘subliminally remain unaware and inconspicuously do what I do’ OR ‘relentlessly renounce whatever I think I’m not supposed to do and waveringly search for what is indefinitely subjected to my conjectures, that this is what I’m supposed to do!’
Well, it’s been years and yet again here I am wondering the same. For the only permanent remains in me, is the stubborn precocious child inclined to indite wondrous tales of his unrehearsed ballet of thoughts, that I choose the latter and yet again resurrect from the remnants of my unrealistic life. A profound sense of meaning guides me into myriad of thoughts, that have vowed to linger on till they are given a face which, mitigates their pain of not being expressed and finally lead them into the conscious world of light. This desire to fill the lacuna in my uninspired life is driven not by any volition to discover that which remains unknown, rather ‘by knowing what will remain unknown!’ Nothing that has been done or being done makes iota of a difference to what remains unknown, it stands hidden somewhere deep in our understanding of ourselves and of which we have made some abstract sense that requires no more further vibrance, for it is potent in itself to make our modest attempts to live look sensible. It is just not a faint curiosity to walk over and just peep into the secrets of this mystified modus operandi, nor is it desire disguised in conceit, this task itself befalls onto those who revere and feel amazed by the way this apparatus works, and who better to pursue it than those unfit to match the vigour requisite for a peaceful life. Although providing an explicit elucidation of what will be a peaceful life and how it is achieved would be rather wearisome, and only honourable thing to do is to accept that its rather achievable in a very distinct sense by perseverance and constantly thriving to cultivate one’s understanding when it comes to success, love and self-content. Who will deny that the path for achieving everything worthy needs a sincere vigour, regardless of any belief held by anyone to make that desire look unworthy in itself. Everything that is worthy seems to get involved in a strife with a thought that undermine its fundamentals, and are not the fundamentals dictated on the judgment of right and wrong? Measure of every thought and all actions are inherent to morals and ethics! Morals and ethics are vulnerable to the existing dogmas of a society! Society exists as a whole and yet is disintegrated into factions that struggle within themselves to get heard! Alas, everybody gets heard and nobody listens!
Doesn’t it seem that under the calm progression of this system, is taking place a transgressive movement, which is so disruptive in its essence that it foretells its inevitable advent, and then when it comes, only those will serve a purpose, who reflect now on what remains unknown and will always remain so. With constant zeal to decipher the meaning of their existence, however unfruitful their efforts may seem, they will arrive on the ultimate answer in a very arbitrary sense, because as it is it will always look like, ‘Mirage!’